I finally got around to watching the new Nightmare on Elm Street, and was pretty disappointed. I don’t understand why Hollywood has such a hard time re-making these oldschool slasher flicks, nor why they do so in the first place. The “new” Nightmare (not to be confused with “New Nightmare” :D ) basically takes the original and sucks all the entertainment value right out of it.

It’s also schizophrenic as hell. They spotlight the “child molester” aspect of Freddy’s character, then pointlessly turn it around to say he was falsely accused and mob murdered, and then, ultimately, the kids conveniently stumble upon the kiddie porn dungeon and remember that he was most definitely a child-murdering rapist. Yay!

Every other character in the movie is bland and uninteresting, including Nancy, which is a crime. And Freddy himself, while I love Jackie Earle Haley, was played completely low key, both literally and figuratively monotone, making him equally bland outside of his poorly presented backstory. There is no “fun” to be had here. Nothing “pops”. The few key scenes directly transposed into the new movie from the original are actually pulled off better in the original, which seems to be a solid tip-off that there was either an oblivious director, a severe lack of attention to detail, or both.

Anyway, here’s another crappy horror remake to add to the pile. Guess Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Dawn of the Dead will remain the only two that have been nicely modernized.